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Crownless Quiche Royale
The Diva did not handle the coronation well. It was bad enough that the crown would be a lot bigger than her tiara, but the official coronation dish – she wasn't even asked, and I was pretty fed up with her marching round the house saying, ‘broad bean quiche, pah', and, 'I'll give him lard’.
She's got a point: imagine waiting 70 years for your big day, and somebody decides on broad beans and spinach to celebrate it.
But finally she calmed down a bit and announced that she had created a special dish for Princess Anne – ‘because she’s not getting a crown, even though she’s marvellous’.
And she has done her proud: her Crownless Quiche Royale is sensationally delicious – caramelised onions, parmesan, a great deal of cream; no pastry. And no broad beans. I think the King will feel very hard done by.
I did point out that even without the pastry (half the calories, half the carbs … and less than half the faff), it’s not exactly downsizing, and with all that cream and butter it’s not for any faint-hearted arteries. But the Diva wouldn’t budge: said that the Princess Royal was an Olympic rider and a National Hunt Jockey, and must have spent half her life keeping her weight down, so she deserved a day off. And to be toasted enthusiastically with a great many stiff G&Ts.
50g butter
4 red onions
3 free-range eggs
250ml cream
30 – 40g parmesan
A few sprigs of thyme
A good grating of nutmeg
Salt and pepper
- Preheat the oven 160º / 150º fan / gas mark 4.
- Slice onions thinly, from front to back – with the rings, not across them; put them in a large bowl, add a teaspoon of salt, and mix well.
- Melt the butter till foaming in a heavy-bottomed saucepan and add onions.
- Cook them on a medium heat for a few minutes – until they start to sizzle and release their juices, then turn the heat down and cook for at least 20 minutes – 10 with the lid on and 10 with the lid off. Check and stir often. Then turn the heat up a bit and cook till they change from blurry to glistening. There is a moment when this happens, so watch carefully, as you don’t want them to burn.
- Grate the cheese. Use a microplane grater. Anything else just wastes your life and destroys your knuckles.
- Make the custard – whisk the three eggs very well and stir in the cream.
- Add most of the cheese, leaving a bit to sprinkle on the top. Use less cheese rather than more. Add salt, pepper, and a really good grating of nutmeg.
- When the onions have cooled a little, stir them into the custard with a few sprigs of thyme. Pour it into a 20cm flan dish, scatter a few sprigs of thyme and the rest of the Parmesan on top, and put it into the oven. Bake for 30 – 40 minutes., till it’s browned on top and just set.
Serve with a radicchio salad with very finely sliced onion, anchovy, and pomegranate seeds, dressed with balsamic and olive oil.
N.b. Add salt before you add the anchovies, or you will salt the anchovies.
Diva notes.
Serve immediately. This is because it will be at its best. And no one can steal it before you get to eat it. Although, if you do have some left, it is very good cold.
Any suggestions that this recipe feeds 6 should be immediately reported to the police. It is perfect for two, or three at a push if you really must. N.b Be on your guard for offers of matrimony: a coup de foudre over an onion quiche – even one as delicious as this – is no basis for a happy marriage.
Cream and Eggs
Make sure the eggs have been laid by hens that have danced a foxtrot on a broad green meadow, and the cream is the thickest, yellowest you can find – probably from a Guernsey cow called Buttercup.
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